When I began to practice asking God questions and waiting with faith, I was also in a season where unknowingly, I related to God with a transactional mindset. What do I mean? Well, in an unperceived way, it felt like everything I "heard" was non-refundable.

As an example, if God pointed out something in my life that he was asking me to give up, I would assume He's tired of me trying to live with an idol and, if He's going to keep "walking with me," it meant that I had to give that up forever. 

I didn't have a grid for seeing the inerrant Word of God as relationally applied in the context of interaction and friendship. If that's new for you, think about it in this way: 

Proverbs says, "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” THE NEXT VERSE says, “Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes." (Proverbs 26:4-5). 

Which one is it? Answer a fool or don't? 

In the New Testament, Jesus says, "go into all the world," and then in Acts, the Holy Spirit tells Paul, “don't go to Asia,” which is all the world. What's the point? Jesus is a real person. 

Relational reading is why the Bible is living and interactive (Hebrews 4; 1 Timothy 3:16-17). Scripture points us to everything we need for life and godliness within the context of following a real person in real time. If scripture becomes only policy, you've missed what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus. Living a lifestyle of friendship and trust requires you to be close to Him. 

The first time this guidance of the Father deeply impacted me was when He clearly asked me to give up alcohol. Although I enjoyed alcohol in ways that I sensed honoured God, in friendships, dates with my wife etc., there were specific times that it would lead me to old habits which had attachments to evil spirits (that is a fun /complex and crazy story, which I'll write on soon). However, for the sake of this post, I knew God was saying, “I want you to give it up.” And I did. It was tough, but after a few weeks, Jesus led me to pursue Him so passionately that I began to see that I didn't need it. 

About nine months later, I had an encounter on one of my prayer walks where I felt the Holy Spirit point out some pride about how happy I was with myself and with celebrating my commitments. I remember the freedom and thought, "everyone needs to give this up." Strangely and unknowingly, I was boasting about my obedience and feeling good about my commitment to stop consuming alcohol. 

Sometimes we don't realize when our commitments replace our communion. Meaning our obedience to His guidance can change, and the only way to know if it changes is a real-time communion. What if He says, do this, or stop this, but in a month says, you can have it back? Are we relationally in step with the Holy Spirit?

Get to the point, James! 

On one hot summer day, I came out of the forest and said, "Lord, I'd love a Corona today.” Then I heard, "go for it." I was shocked that I said that. But then I was more surprised that I heard "go for it." I thought, “What? Is that you? Maybe that's a demon.” I said, “God, please forgive me, but I need to test that." He loves when we take scripture seriously, which instructs us to test everything. 

Here's the thing, I was sure I wouldn't drink anything alcoholic until it was with Jesus in the new heavens. Seriously. This was so hard for me. It was such an enjoyment of mine, and it felt so real to give it up. What was missing in my understanding of intimacy and relationship was the goodness of God. Let me be clear; this story isn't meant to make you feel liberty where God hasn't given you. It's intended to share what I learned about Him. 

So the next day, I got as quiet as possible and said, " Lord, I gave this up; you told me too; how is it that you said to go for it?” I heard this wonderful impression "James, I asked you to give this up to develop a deeper friendship and release you from spiritual conflict. Those spirits are gone, and I'm a good dad, and I can give back gifts." 

It's weird to admit this, but I didn't know He could do that. After meeting with a few pastors and with the wise counsel of my wife, who said I should obey Him, I had a glass of wine for the first time in 9 months, and it was different; it was a gift, it was Him. I could feel the joy of a father when his kids receive something Fathers love to give. But I didn't know He could be that real-time loving. 

Learning to recognize His voice is so valuable and extraordinary because there will be times—as you seek to live a lifestyle of Word and Spirit—when you will clearly sense God is leading you to surrender a desire or give up something in your life to then later release it back. 

Think about the story of Abraham and Isaac, where God tells Abraham to give his son up and then changes His mind. Sometimes, He will speak to us through impressions or reading scripture; “I want you to give up alcohol or social media, a relationship, etc.” You may be different, but learning that the Father wants to restore trust and give things back as gifts surprised me about his goodness. It delights Him when we receive. He delights in our receiving of His good things.